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The things we're not talking about...but we should be

Given that many a dancer's internet forum serves about as much clarity as a three year old a megaphone, I thought it was time that I expanded the conversation on social dancing into areas where many won't tread, or because of their bizarre rules on posting can't tread.  So here are five conversations we could be having but we don't...

1) where are all the people with disabilities in dancing?  We know why they might be put off, but we also now that there is both commercial sense and genuine appreciation of dancers with disabilities.  We have teachers in our midsts, we have perfectly good venues (deposit what some might suggest) and we have stacks of dancers eager to dance with people with disabilities (hidden or visible).  But they don't come.  What does that say about us?

2) we have still not stopped idiot men "teaching" on the dance floor and most especially teaching drops.  How is this acceptable on a dance floor on a class night or at a well run freestyle?  They are not qualified to teach it and much more importantly they are not insured if something goes wrong, many/most of them are not capable and on a busy dance floor they are jeopardise their poor subjects safety and the safety of other dancers around them.  So why aren't we all tell them to take it home and do it there, if they must, where if there's seeing to be done it won't involve other people.  We all know why they do it - why don't we say "stop it"? And when we do say stop it, how graceless that some cack-handed leads demand to know the reason why.  Don't ask guys, because the words "'cos you don't know what you're doing and I have no confidence that my safety is your priority AS IT SHOULD BE" often leads to sulking.

3) And whilst we are at it....at what stage did it become appropriate for older men patronising younger women.  Mansplaining is rife and telling them about their faults but not expecting it to work the other way is de rigeur.  Ladies - do feel free whenever a man gives you advise about your clothes, styling, technical ability or facial expression to give them back twice as much as they are giving.  Why twice as much? Because you can bet that they will never ask for it and so you're making up for lost opportunities.   

4) Why - given that people are paying to be taught - do so many dancers in classes not listen to what they are being told?  The level of conversation is jaw dropping - and whilst there might be a 'social' aspect of being in line, there's a bizarre, contrary running commentary about "people not knowing the basics" from the very people who have most to say whilst those beginners are being taught the basics.  When was the last time you saw someone barred from a class for being a disruptive influence? When was the last time you told your neighbour at a class to pipe down?  The last class I did I was being "helped" by someone shouting over the teacher so I asked him to be quiet: my point was I was listening to the person I'd paid to do the job.

5) When did social dancing become so off putting for young people: probably when they couldn't read a good review about it on Google!  Why in this notion of excellence verified by the usual service sector information, not available to the customer?  What are they to make of a world where only cash is taken at the desk, where the venues are not tagged on Google, where the distinction between provider and product so easily blurred but then so righteously guarded. Restaurants do it, they have mean spirited competition too.  But they also rely on it in an age where the phone has become the guide.  Instead of this vital information they get the views of a Facebook dancer's group - this is no way to proceed when you need new customers who demand excellence.

And here's the rub - go away and think about these things and do something different - COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN TURNED OFF.  I don't need to know what you think.

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